Everyone's favourite crime fighting, orphaned weirdo is in for some trouble. Looks like Bob Kane's name for his seminal cultural icon wasn't so original after all, or so some bozos claim...

Whatever next? Mother Nature's going to sue Stan Lee and Steve Ditko for copyright infringement and getting the colours all wrong, you fools, when creating Spider-Man (ever seen a red and blue spider?). Is the body of an old ship or some 'unwieldy mass' going to sue Marvel for stealing the name Hulk?

Will the gravestone of influential comic-book legend Jack Kirby get desecrated by some ageing grey-haired beach bum, for stealing his moniker of Silver Surfer? Is a bolt of lightning going to strike down DC comics HQ for stealing the name Flash? Huh? Is it? Is that what you want! Jeez, I can feel my very DNA beginning to unravel in maddening fury.

It's just plain ridiculousness, although it is quite fun to think of various superheroes and then think up what sort of thing could sue them for stealing its name. Fun for about 30 seconds anyway.

So go on give it a try and send them to giveahoot@hotmail.com, the best ones'll get sued for stealing my idea.

The evil video-director genius behind those crazed, inexplicable videos for Aphex Twin - notably the completely messed-up 'Come to Daddy', which I still suffer fits from having seen - gives an interview.

He is a depraved, godless abomination of a man and to prove that point he's posted a disturbing picture to accompany the interview. Whatever you do don't click through and then un-blur the image, because what awaits you is pretty grim, real or not. Not quite goatse, it'll still leave you upset and likely to throw up any digested food, even if you haven't eaten for a week.

But it didn't upset me, because I could out Cunningham Chris any day of the week. People think he's weird and creepy with a mind like the unnatural love-child of John Waters and David Lynch, but unlike me they don't sleep in their father's grave at night, eat their dead twin's genitalia for dinner, and shower in diseased rat's urine! Out freak that Mr Cunningham! I'd like to see it!

Actually, it turns out he's rather a spiffing chap, partial to the odd cup of peppermint tea, and invests lots of money into helping orphaned ponies. Or something like that.

He likes cheap looking pr0n anyway, so you'll have something in common.